Clarity Page 16

  Since Katie has a limitless budget when it comes to shopping, I trust her to have something that might impress Nick’s parents. As we make our selection, I start to feel more confident that I’m going to satisfy Nick. The last thing I want to do is make the wrong impression on our very first meeting. Who am I kidding? I don’t want to make the wrong impression. Period.

  This time there’s no argument from my mouth as Katie preps my hair and make-up, and in record time I’m ready when Nick is knocking at the door. My stomach is in knots and I’m ready to heave from the nerves. Making sure to take deep breaths as Katie lets Nick in the apartment, I stop breathing all together when I see him.

  With him standing in front of me I nervously ask, “Do I look okay?”

  “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

  As my breath catches in my throat, he leans in to kiss me. All earlier doubt has completely vanished. He leaves me breathless when he ends our kiss.

  “I’m tempted to take you to the room and tear this dress off you.”

  “Whoa there tiger, that dress she’s wearing happens to be one of my favorites and the last thing you’re going to be doing is ripping it,” Katie chastises from the entrance of the apartment, still holding onto the door.

  “I can’t make any promises,” Nick replies, taking my hand to lead me out of the apartment.

  “Why do I have a feeling you’re willing to risk Katie’s wrath?” I ask on our way to his car. Stopping when we’ve reached the passenger side, his eyes bear down into mine. “Because it would be completely worth it to get what’s underneath it.”

  Smiling at his response, I say, “As long as you don’t rip it off until after dinner.”

  “Deal.”

  The playfulness is replaced with silence. Tension overtakes the ambiance inside the car the entire drive. Eventually, he brings his car to a stop, and as the valet helps me exit the car, I take in my surroundings. He’s driven us to one of Chicago’s most upscale restaurants and I begin to panic. I’ve heard of this restaurant, but never imagined I’d be stepping foot in it. How am I to guarantee I won’t make a fool of myself?

  My self-doubt has fully returned.

  Nick wraps his arm around my waist, leading me into the building, every step I’m full of nerves. Composing myself as best as I can as we enter the building, I tell myself, Nick is a wonderful person so why would his parents be any different?

  I’m instantly proven wrong when we are led to a table where an older couple is already seated. The moment their eyes take me in, they scowl. The lady’s eyes are critically analyzing me, the unhidden contempt on her face notifying me she’s disappointed in what she sees.

  “Nicolas, is there a reason why you’ve invited a dinner guest with you tonight?” The question entirely aimed at me.

  “Mother, this is Taylor. Taylor, this is my mother Regina and my father Harold,” he conveys, clearly ignoring her comment.

  Politely holding out my hand towards her, I say, “It’s nice to meet you.” She stares down at my hand with disgust, never offering her own hand. Just as quickly, I pull my hand away, feeling dejected.

  She looks over to Nick as she delivers her next words. “Having to hear about your liaisons is one thing, but to insult your father and I by bringing one to dinner is beyond disrespectful.”

  “Mother,” Nick barely manages to get out before she’s silencing him with her hand. “Don’t. You’ve already done enough,” she says, now looking at me.

  The insult causes a lump to form in my throat and it’s preventing me from speaking. Even if I attempted to do so, what good would it do to defend myself? She’s already made her assumptions about me.

  It takes Nick’s father loudly clearing his throat to distract us. “Why don’t we all take a seat and try to enjoy the evening as planned?” he says as Nick’s mother lets out an audible gasp.

  I’m still standing, contemplating whether I should leave. At this point, it’d be the best for all of us. Instead, I’m urged by Nick to sit as the waiter pulls out my chair. The only other seat available is across from me, leaving me feeling vulnerable without Nick at my side.

  I sit there in a trance, trying to ignore the awful glares coming from my right as his mother’s eyes continue to bore into my soul. I keep repeating how I’m doing this for Nick and no one else.

  Eventually, the conversation turns to topics in which I am not included, leaving me with no other choice but to sit and endure feeling incompetent. When the food arrives, I’m lost in my own thoughts, counting down the minutes until our departure, when Nick’s father chooses to address me.

  “Taylor?” His questioning tone throws me off guard, making me snap my head up in his direction.

  “Look at her, she can’t even respect us enough to pay attention to our conversation. Where on earth did you find this girl, Nicolas?” Regina furiously complains.

  “Mother,” Nick snarls in her direction.

  “I’m sorry, Nicolas, but your father did ask her a question and she’s clearly ignoring him.” Her voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard. “What kind of manners were you raised with, young lady, that you cannot be polite enough to answer a question when it’s originally asked?”

  Gently placing my fork down, I summon the best smile I can muster.

  “If you’ll please excuse me, I’m off to the ladies room.” Every word is forced as I attempt to convey honesty in my statement.

  “Of course,” Nick’s father replies, standing along with Nick. His mother prefers to stay rooted in her seat, clearly uncaring of how rude she appears.

  “I’ll walk you,” Nick suggests.

  “That won’t be necessary. I’m sure your parents would like to continue their conversation with you.”

  I don’t give Nick the chance to argue before I turn and head off towards what I believe would be the restrooms. When I’m no longer in their view, I take another hallway, which I know will lead me to the exit. It doesn’t take long before the brisk breeze of Chicago’s air hits me full force, helping push most of the torment from the night aside.

  The valet is already trying to flag down a taxi, but I walk right past him, knowing I wouldn’t be able to afford the fare home. Lucky for me, the small clutch Katie lent me contains my pass for the L. It may take longer to get home, but sitting in a crowd of strangers would be much more pleasant than enduring the venom I’ve been receiving.

  Glancing down at my watch once more, I realize it’s been fifteen minutes since Taylor excused herself to the restroom. The moment she walked away, I instantly felt her loss. My mind was screaming to ignore her request to not follow her and instead lead her out of the door, but I’d known deep down inside she needed the time to herself.

  My entire life, I’ve endured my mother’s wrath, which is why I’m able to easily ignore it. Looking over to my father, I have to wonder how it is he’s managed to bear being married to her for so long. Then I remember how he was practically forced to marry her to merge the families’ companies. It wasn’t strange to do then, and is still expected of me now. It’s one of the burdens my mother never failed to heave in my face as she constantly reminds me of the responsibility my brother had failed to live up to.

  He was supposed to marry one of the daughters of my father’s business associate, but instead had chosen love—a love that had come to betray him for money. Instead, it left my mother hopeful I would take his place and marry her instead. But to do so would mean to leave my career, something I was unwilling to do.

  Unable to resist, my eyes look down at my watch and my patience evaporates. “I’m going to go check on Taylor,” I inform my parents.

  My mother’s response does not surprise me. “If we’re lucky enough, she’s drowned herself in the bathroom.”

  Ignoring her crude comment, I head to the ladies’ room to patiently wait for Taylor, hoping to mend what little of the night that is left. Two minutes later, a woman is exiting and instantly flashes me with a mannerly smile. In the
process, she has completely opened the door, allowing me a peek inside. In the short time the door is open, I can see there is no one else in there. When I’ve waited long enough and I’m alone in the hallway, I bravely enter the facilities. Boldly taking my chances, I bend down to check under the stall doors to find them also empty, alerting me that Taylor is obviously not in the restroom.

  Rushing out of the ladies’ room, I walk as fast as I can towards the exit. Outside, I look from left to right, not seeing her anywhere. The valet is standing in front of me, patiently waiting for an order.

  “Did you see a girl? This high,” I say holding up my hand to my shoulder. “Lace black dress, brunette hair?”

  “I tried flagging a taxi for her, sir, but when I turned around she was already gone.”

  Shit. She’s already left.

  “Thank you,” I reply, handing him my valet ticket. I’m not going to trouble myself with going back inside. My main concern is Taylor.

  While waiting for my car, my thoughts are in turmoil, struggling to find the correct words I’m going to face Taylor with. I already know she isn’t going to easily forgive me for tonight, but I will try my best to make it up to her.

  If that woman wasn’t my own mother, who I loved and respected dearly, I would have stood up and walked out of there with Taylor a long time ago. She didn’t deserve to be treated in that manner. Had I known my parents were going to be so rude tonight, I would have just blown them off and spent the night having dinner with Taylor at home.

  The entire drive to Taylor’s apartment my heart is racing, my mind still battling with what to say. My night didn’t go exactly how I thought it would and how it ends will depend on Taylor’s reaction.

  As I pull up to her apartment complex, I immediately see her already nearing her building, allowing me time to park my car and rush over to her. Meeting her at the entrance, her eyes are furiously regarding me. “Leave me alone, Nick. Just stay the hell away from me from now on,” she says, hurt clear in her voice as she opens the door and steps inside.

  Following her to her apartment, I force myself inside before she can shut the door.

  “I’m sorry about tonight, Taylor. If I’d known they didn’t want you there I wouldn’t have taken you,” I say, regretting the words the moment they leave my mouth.

  The sharp intake of her breath makes my heart drop to my stomach. “Why did you, Nick? Was it to prove to me that we will never be equals? If that was the case, it didn’t take dinner with your parents to prove it to me. I knew it the moment I laid eyes on you.”

  “No, Taylor, that’s not what I meant.” I reach out for her, but she steps back, bringing her hand up to warn me to stop.

  “I told you from the beginning I wasn’t good enough for you, but I was stupid enough to believe it when you said I was. I should have stayed away, but I was a fool who opened up her heart and trusted you.”

  Her words have completely gutted me.

  “Never again. Just get out, Nick. Take your mother’s advice and walk away while you can. It’d be best for the both of us,” she says as tears stream down her cheeks.

  “Taylor, please.”

  “It doesn’t matter, anyway. I’m nothing to you.”

  “How can you think you’re nothing to me? You mean more to me than anything in this world.”

  She wraps herself in her arms, shaking her head in denial. “If you cared you wouldn’t have allowed me to be torn apart by those people.”

  Her words sting like a slap in the face. Every word is true. I try approaching her, wanting nothing more than to hold her in my arms, but it’s impossible as she retreats from me. “They’re right. I’m just another one of your conquests. I’ve known it since the beginning and I know it now.”

  “Taylor, now you’re just talking nonsense.”

  “All you’ve ever cared about is getting in between my legs!”

  My rage emerges with her words. “That’s a low blow. Even for you, Taylor,” I growl out. “Why would you say something like that?”

  “We’re two different people, Nick. It was never meant to be.”

  I want to argue, but she cuts me off. “I think you should leave,” she states, the fury in her statement returning me to the state I’d arrived in.

  Dread.

  Worry.

  Regret.

  As much as I want to force her to listen to me, I know it’s the last thing I should do.

  “I’m leaving tonight, but only to give you time to calm down. I told you once, Taylor, I wasn’t giving up on you and I’m saying it again, this time with a promise. I’m not giving up on you.

  “I love you, Taylor, and there isn’t anything in the world that would change that,” I say before turning and leaving her apartment. She slams the door behind me, making me turn around to face it.

  “I’m not giving up on you, Taylor. Never.”

  THE MISERY COURSING inside of me does not compare to how I made Taylor feel tonight. I’m ashamed of myself for not defending her sooner. I know I should have, but my arrogance kept me from acting upon it, an act that is costing me dearly now that she has pushed me away. I know no one is to blame but myself.

  The drive to the hotel to confront my parents feels never-ending. It’s as if every red light has sided on their behalf to keep me from getting to them sooner. The entire time my determination is fueled by the image of Taylor’s shattered expression.

  Soon enough, I’m pulling up to the valet station of an impressive hotel. I don’t waste a second as I step out of my car, nearly taking out my anger on the poor valet boy as I yank the ticket from his hand. Stalking my way past the registration desk, I already know which room they’re going to be in. It’s the same as always. My mother is a creature of habit and insists on reserving the same room.

  The ride up in the elevator is another delay, fueling my wrath. Marching my way to the presidential suite, I bang on their door, demanding entrance. Their butler answers, greeting me with his usual curt nod as I brush past him. I find my mother in the living room, reading a fashion magazine without any regard to my presence as I stalk my way over to face her. The only indication she gives in acknowledgement of my presence is an arched eyebrow as she continues to stare down into the pages in front of her.

  “Where is Dad?” I ask, searching the room for him, but finding him absent.

  Still staring down at the object in her hands, she answers, “I left him downstairs at the bar, most likely drinking his sorrows away thanks to your little escapade,” she lectures. “I expect you’re here to apologize for your behavior tonight.”

  “My behavior? You’re the one who should be apologizing!”

  Now both her brows are arching as she glances up at me. “We’ve raised you better than to behave the way you did tonight. You were the one who left us sitting at the table to most likely run after that girl you embarrassed us with.”

  The rage inside of me takes over. “I’m done! I’ve put up with enough of your shit mother. All my life—” Before I can finish my lecture, she stands up, fury now replacing her once blank eyes.

  “You’ve done nothing but bring disappointment to our family by defying your duties. We have only two sons, yet neither can do what is required of them. ”

  “Have you ever asked whether we wanted to do it or not?”

  “It isn’t a choice. You’re a Hunter, Nicolas, and you have Macintyre blood coursing through your veins as well. You don’t have a choice. It is expected of you!”

  “That’s all you’ve ever told me, but it’s not what I want.”

  A disappointed sigh leaves her lips. “Nicolas, how much longer are you going to believe that swinging a bat and catching a ball is more important than pursuing what is your legacy?”

  “Until the last day I can do it. I’ve done nothing but try to satisfy your every demand. Regardless of what Nathan and I have done, it’s never been good enough for you. I’ve probably lost the only girl I’ve ever had feelings for tonight because I did nothing b
ut sit there and allow you to spew your venom at her.”

  With a wave of her hand, she dismisses my statement. “Her walking away is for the best. She isn’t good enough for you. She will bring nothing to this family.”

  “I don’t give a shit what she has or will bring!”

  “Tell me, Nicolas, how much do you really know about this girl?”

  “It doesn’t matter what I know or don’t know.” I say the words to mask the sting of her question. There is so much I don’t know about Taylor. She refuses to fully open herself up to me. But to admit that fact to my mother would only bring mockery upon myself.

  Feeling the need to further mend the mistake I’ve made tonight, I resume my battle with my mother. “I don’t care what you think of her, but you better pray to God Taylor forgives me for your actions tonight, because whether or not I ever see you again depends on her.”

  “How dare you choose her over your family.”

  “Family would never make me choose between the woman I love or them,” I growl back at her.”

  “You wouldn’t dare defy me, Nicolas.”

  “Try me,” I reply before stalking my way past her without a backward glance.

  “Nicolas!” The shouting of my name is ignored as I walk straight out of the suite. I’d expected to leave with a feeling of satisfaction, yet I feel far from satisfied. The realization of what my life has always been came to me in that brief moment.

  All my brother and I have ever been to my mother are pawns in the game of chess she’s played all her life, bred to succeed and obey. We both began to defy her commands as adults, preferring to follow our own dreams. I may be a disappointment in her eyes for not following my father’s footsteps, but at least I’m doing what I love.

  Now, if I can only say I’m currently happy in life, it would be satisfying enough. I was happy two hours ago when I held Taylor in my arms, but the damage I’ve managed to create between us has torn that apart. There is only one way to bring my happiness back, and it is Taylor.

  I hadn’t intended to confront my father. Upon exiting the elevator is when the thought occurred to me. Entering the hotel bar, I quickly find him, sitting alone and looking miserable. Unlike my mother, it’s as if he’s sensed my presence and turns to face me. The strained smile I receive guides me to him.